I Cаnt Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future (2021) Drawing by Anton Terziev

Anton Terziev’s *I Cаn’t Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future* is a striking self-portrait that exemplifies the enduring power of *memento mori* imagery. Rendered in pencil, this piece conveys the tension between life and death through finely observed detail, delicate shading, and a haunting overlay of skull and flesh. The work stands as a contemporary meditation on mortality, seamlessly bridging a centuries-old artistic tradition with the immediacy of personal introspection.
The concept of *memento mori*—“ you must die”—has deep roots in Western art, stretching back to Medieval and Renaissance Europe. Historically, these artworks employed skulls and other vanitas symbols (withered flowers, timepieces, extinguished candles) to remind viewers of life’s transience. Terziev’s drawing reinvents this classic motif, using his own visage to represent both the universal reality of mortality and a personal confrontation with the future.
The self-portrait has long served as a means for artists to explore identity and self-awareness. Here, Terziev intensifies the introspective quality by merging the living face with the skeletal structure beneath. This duality evokes questions about the artist’s inner psyche—what lies beneath the surface of daily existence, and how does one reconcile the present self with the inevitable fate that awaits all living beings?
In contrast to more lush or layered mediums like oil paint, pencil drawing relies on nuanced variations of line and shading to create depth and atmosphere. Terziev’s meticulous cross-hatching and subtle gradations give the composition a sense of sculptural form. The soft transitions from dark to light highlight the contours of both the face and the skull, unifying them in an eerie yet compelling synthesis.
By working solely in graphite or pencil, Terziev focuses the viewer’s attention on form, texture, and contrast. The absence of color eliminates the emotional cues often tied to hue—such as red for ion or blue for melancholy—and instead emphasizes the stark, universal nature of mortality. The grayscale aesthetic lends a timeless quality, suggesting a link to both Renaissance draftsmanship and modern conceptual sketches.
While the piece is undeniably representational, it avoids photorealism in favor of a slightly stylized approach. The delicate lines around the eye sockets and cheekbones contrast with bolder shading under the chin and around the temples, lending the portrait an almost spectral presence. This interplay between precise detail and suggestive shading accentuates the psychological depth of the image.
The title, *I Cаn’t Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future*, transforms a simple mirror image into a symbol of existential dread. Mirrors are often associated with self-recognition, but here they also become harbingers of destiny—where the future is depicted as the skull, an inescapable reminder of life’s finitude. The artist’s refusal to look at his reflection speaks to the universal human tendency to avoid facing our own mortality.
By merging two layers of the same head, Terziev underscores the fragility that underpins daily life. The gently rendered eyes—imbued with a quiet intensity—contrast sharply with the stark outlines of teeth and hollow eye sockets, fusing the living and the dead into a single visage. This composite image compels the viewer to reflect on the thin boundary between existence and oblivion.
The precision of Terziev’s pencil work, combined with an emphasis on anatomy, brings to mind Renaissance masters like Albrecht Dürer, whose engravings and drawings famously captured the interplay of light, shadow, and form. Terziev’s depiction of the skull suggests a keen understanding of anatomical structure, grounding the piece in the long-standing tradition of life study.
Despite its historical roots, the work feels unmistakably contemporary in its existential urgency. The layering of skull and face is reminiscent of the psychological probing found in Expressionist portraiture, where the subject’s inner turmoil is visually exposed. Terziev’s portrait invites viewers into a conversation about identity in an age where personal introspection is often overshadowed by external distractions.
The restrained grayscale palette and the nuanced layering of lines create an immediate emotional impact. There is a haunting, almost whispered quality to the piece, as though the artist has captured a moment of private reckoning. It quietly demands the viewer’s engagement, prompting reflection on one’s own temporality.
While deeply personal, the artwork transcends the individual. It serves as a reminder of our shared human experience—an inevitable confrontation with aging, decay, and the uncertainty of what lies ahead. This universality, conveyed through the simplicity of pencil on paper, is a testament to Terziev’s ability to merge classical inspiration with contemporary expression.

In *I Cаn’t Look At My Reflection, It Reflects The Future*, Anton Terziev breathes new life into the time-honored *memento mori* tradition. Through sensitive pencil work and an evocative merging of skull and flesh, he offers a profound meditation on mortality, identity, and the uneasy intersection of the present and the future. The result is a quietly powerful self-portrait that beckons viewers to confront the very essence of what it means to be alive.

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